Passage Plan

From the dock the woman watched as the salty old tugboat captain skillfully docked his boat. She was impressed that such an old man would still be doing such a tough job. She decided to wait until the captain disembarked. As he did, she asked him," Captain, what is your secret to leading such a long and productive life?" "Well," he said. "I would have to say it's because I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whisky every week, eat a lot of fatty foods and I never exercise.”

“Wow, that's amazing," the woman said. "Exactly how old are you?" He answered, "Thirty-one"

"LETS GO TO NEWTON FERRERS"

Boat : Drifter

Skipper and Crew :

Skipper : Nigel a skipper who is very experienced and some of it is to do with the sea.

Navigation Officer : George, Responsible for telling us which ports he was banned from.

First mate : Roger, this name was earned after sharing a bunk with Geoff 

Leading semen : Mike, he was in charge of the sleeping arrangements

Bosun : Geoff :Very free with the cat! Cat was not too keen.

Ships cat : Rob, Picked up in Dartmouth among other things.

Thursday 16th July 2015

1100 Roger arrived at Brixham with victuals. Car was parked somewhere in Devon to avoid punitive car park charges. "Drifter" was loaded with his kit and food, which lowered the freeboard by 6"

George arrived with a rigging expert to discuss the securing of the anchor guide which was not thought suitable for attaching the Spinnaker to. (Is that Bristolian?)

1720 Waiting on Mike and Geoff. weather forecast 5 knots and sunny. Worryingly George tells us he is waiting on results for a Prostate problem. Hi will be joining us tomorrow in Kingswear.

Corn beef sandwiches then Nigel and Roger have a doze. This happens a lot. 

1900 Mike and Geoff arrive. Geoff looks uncannily like Grant Mitchell from East Enders. I don't anticipate any problems with the towns near do wells with Geoff around.

2030 Team strolls along to the Old Market where we have a fine bouillabaisse.

Roger retires for the night while rest of crew go clubbing. Difficult in Brixham.

NB Me and Mike had some new boots but the skipper, in a fit of jealous peak banned us from wearing them.

Friday 17th July 2015

0700 Mike and Geoff shared main cabin. Mike snored like a rogered pig. Apparently because his Epitidius was flapping! Geoff stayed awake "Just in case he choked!"

AM Cooked Full English.

Excellent safety and boat-handling briefing by the skipper. Crew correctly position to execute a faultless departure from the pontoon.

All went well until it was noticed that the stern line was still attached, Whoops!

Super beat to Dartmouth with Geoff on the wheel. 22 knot winds flat seas and sun. Just what we joined up for. Mike slept the whole trip.

1530 Motored up to Ditsum, impeccable MOB procedure to rescue Rogers hat. Then back to Kingswere Marina where George, who had travelled overland, had booked a berth.

It would seem that George is banned from most of the sailing organisations on the South coast. And his face is posted on Britons Most Wanted Posters in every port. This, stemming from upsetting some pious committee members in the Brixham Yacht Club.

Well, their loss our gain.

2030 Rob joined us, then off to The Ship, found out that "Ness" my friendly ear of days long gone, now working at The Steam Packet"

Ferry to Dartmouth then mussels, crevettes and skinny chips in "The Castle"  Utter chaos re the kitty I have spent at least £1,000 so far!

Odd quiz game by telephone with Robs girlfriend.

However the night had only just started! Arrived at Marina to meet a lady of some years, talking to the  Marina attendant. This lady, who had had a sherry or two, recognised Nigel and immediately a banter type conversation ensued. 

The crew, being naturally gregarious invited her back to the boat so she and Nigel could talk about old times.

On the way back to the boat we notice a large naked man in a power boat ducking for cover amid an overpowering smell of marijuana. He was also cooking sausages, as he had one in his hand!

Unfortunately Amphitrite* (Real name not revealed for libel purposes) did decide to join us, and very unsteadily came aboard. 

Amphitrite, did tell us that she was a champion fisher woman and had won trophies I assume this was for coarse fishing! She was not very entertaining as she had obviously fallen out with her husband who she spoke of in a derogatory manner. She said she, or her friend had the hots for Nigel. She did rant on about a few other things bursting into tears at one point. By this time the crew were getting bored and were quietly slipping off to bed.

There was one problem with this! It left Rob and I to get her back to her boat. She was very drunk and this was not straight forward, as she seemed hell bent on walking off the ends of the pontoons.

We finally achieved this and noticed on the return that the naked man was still naked and he was still cooking sausages!

The sleeping arrangements were very cosy : Nigel and Rob sharing the aft cabin, George and Mike in the main Saloon, somehow George managed to adapt to Mike nasal breathing pattern, and sleep! Myself and Geoff shared the fore cabin. This meant developing an interesting technique for entering and exiting the bunk during the night, which speaking for myself with a bladder the size of a goldfishes eyeball, happened quite a lot. With both our feet in the pointed end we developed the sliding back flip. The meant passing your legs and dangly bits over the other occupant in one movement! This would have been relatively easy except that the bunk was four feet off the deck, so the finish stance often was not up to Gymnastic standard. 

* AMPHITRITE was the goddess queen of the sea, the wife of King Poseidon. Some say she was one of the fifty Nereides, others an Okeanis, but most simply describe her as the female personification of the sea: the loud-moaning mother of fish, seals and dolphins.

Saturday 18th July 2015

 A passage plan was discussed.  Newton Ferrers was selected as the final destination with an estimated time of arrival late afternoon Hah!!!!

Those on board who were "In the know" confidently made plans for stopping in Salcombe. This is where we always wind up regardless of many a confident assumption that we were definitely not going there, "We are going elsewhere"

Breakfast off Blackpool Sands, My wife and family had driven to the beach and waved to us. Recited "Albert and the Lion" 

1430 Off Salcombe, no wind and much to everyones surprise we decided to spend the night in Salcombe!

Rafted on a buoy near fuel barge. Mike reckons that the occupants of the other boat, Syene, were gay. Mercifully they were not there as Mike does not understand the concept of a discreet conversation.

We managed to use so many mooring lines that the buoy looked like someone was knitting a Fair isle jumper.

1730 After a lot of 7% Cider all fell asleep. Later, ashore to The Yach Club for a meal. George told us he was doing part time taxi driving. He's my hero, he's the only person I have met that gave up a safe career to pursue his dream, which was sailing! And he is still on the water.

He told us some hair raising stories about some of the deliveries he has made. 

I caught early water taxi and asked ferryman about huge yacht near The Fairway. It is owned by a Dutch or German who comes every year about Regatta time.

Sunday 19th July 2015

Morning found that we were rafted between boats Syene and Zeb It would seem that one of the crew was a father of a son who was rowing the Atlantic in aid of Brain Cancer. Heard a recording of a meeting between the son and the father that took place mid Atlantic.

Rafted on Town Pontoon, good breakfast and bought pasties for lunch. Running back to Dartmouth to drop Rob off, weather perfect. Touch and go at Marina, just in case "Amphitrite" was lurking!

Lovely sail into Brixham, shower then off to Witherspoon's for supper. Not good! Mike's steak (That is a flattering description for whatever it was, had never been near a cow!)

Monday 20th July 2015

A visit to the Fishermans Mission for an excellent value breakfast, then a farewell to George. 

Mike and I cleaned the boat and Geoff and Nigel collected the cars. 

A brilliant week end great weather good company and a huge amount of laughter. I can't wait for the next one!